Appreciation

When you're a kid you get appreciated for lots of things. Walking across the width of swimming pools. Drawing a brightly coloured shapeless blob and entitling it "mUm". Tying your shoelaces. Not shitting in your underwear. That sort of thing. Little kids even get appreciated for being beautiful without anyone descrying how they've turned into commodities and isn't it about time we appreciated their sophisticated personalities instead?

It does make being an adult feel a little unappreciated. I wonder if that's why I spend so much of my time acting or playing cricket? They are both areas where the rules seem to shift and suddenly you are applauded for doing what you are supposed to do, exactly what is frowned on the rest of the time. If I got a round of applause for turning up to work on time (other than a sarcastic one, which is quite common), or pressing the right button in the lift, or turning up with my shirt buttons done up correctly, I'd feel patronised and slightly disconcerted. On a cricket pitch, if I stop the ball when fielding (which I am supposed to do) or bowl a good ball (again...) there'll be general shouts of "well done Speedy" and a wee clap. On stage all you have to do is not vomit on the audience half way through the play and you're almost guaranteed a clap, even if the play was about as entertaining as having a weasel shit into your eyes for an hour. It's no better than the coloured mUm blob.

My point is, I am clearly a child. I want to be clapped for things. Clap me, you bastards, clap me! Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!