Director

I've signed up to another play. It's another Shakespearean bit-part, so I might need to make sure I do something very different soon*, but it won't require much effort and I should be able to learn the lines in the twenty minute interval between the end of the Verve's "Urban Hymns" and the bit with the spooky baby crying.

I would have liked a bigger part, obviously, but this cameo thing does have it's advantages - I'm much less like to reach the stage where I want to kill the Director. Not a personal slight on the *actual* Director, it must be said, but merely an honest reflection of how I have felt about most of the ones with which I have previously worked. As a sub-species, Directors tend to display a debilitating mixture of narcissism, narcissism and - very occasionally - narcissism. Whether it manifests itself in long, droning, opinionated verbal meanderings, attempting to control every aspect of an actor's performance ("puppet theatre") or an ability to understand that their play is not the most important thing in the universe, there's nothing more that the average Director deserves more for Christmas than a punch in the face.

But the real reason I'm reticent is because my last proper Director was really nice. It was like finding a Tory that doesn't like to spit at poor people, or an England cricket team that can beat Australia. I'm very worried that the next one will be like Perth - a crushing disappointment. But I'm sure they won't. And if they are, I won't have to put up with it for very long. Commitmentphobe actors - just what the world needs more of.

* yes, even non-professionals** get type cast
** amateur scum