Goddamn

May 29 2010

Now there’s a word! But having been given wordy permission to rail against the world I find my aim diffuse and uncertain. At what do I launch my goddamn tirade? I surely have to keep my powder dry on the ConDem coalition, for they will do many evil things before the year is up. The England cricket team appear to be operating at a satisfactory level and my play is going quite well, despite the looming threat of Primark Chinos.

Work is OK, though difficult when I have all the energy of a stick of celery, the weather is disappointing but not actually dire…

Can it be that life is actually OK?

Of course not. For it contains gelatine! Goddamn, mother fucking gelatine. Always lurking away ready to piss me off. Today was a work birthday for someone who brought in an impressive selection of M and S chocolate snacks as a treat. A friend Facebooked that she had “fallen in love with rocky road mini bites”. I rushed to try them. They contain pork.

CHOCOLATE SNACKS CONTAINING PORK! What the fuck is wrong with the world? Do you really want ham centred Quality Streets and bacon flavour Celebrations? You goddamn fuckers.

See. There’s always something to annoy me. I feel better already.