Glue

17 April 2010

Can you make glue out of cabbages? Probably. But that’s a close as I got.
People are never happy. I know I’m not. The grass is always greener on the other side, especially if you Photoshop* it. But we all know people who get ‘carded’, and it seems that they’re reaction is wildly inconsistent.

I know a 40-something woman who recites every last instant of someone getting her name wrong. She is consistent. She may be slightly obsessed, but at least she’s made up her mind.

On the other hand I seem to know quite a few people who are delighted when someone “in the street” gets their age wrong, but furious if they are asked for ID in a shop. What, ultimately, is the difference? I hear people say “and I told them, for fuck’s sake, I’m 35 I’ve been able to drink for 17 years”. And? So what? They think you look young. They’re not setting out to offend you. They’re all told to check anyone they think looks under 21 – sometimes 25 – so it’s not like they’re accusing you of being an embryo. It's still better than looking like William Hague.

Think on this – I once had a girlfriend who was carded buying glue. That’s depressing. It means that if I’d been with her they could have called the police of suspicion of my having sex with a minor.

Of course, I’m saying that you can’t blame shop staff for not knowing how old I was, but I suppose if my girlfriend really had been 15 and I had thought she was older, I would have been blamed for that. Ouch. Maybe we should scream at the bar-staff after all – if you can go to jail for getting an age wrong, why should they have an easy ride?

S.

* Adobe having issued guidance saying that Photoshop should never be used as a verb. The tits.