While you're out there bashing trade unions, as being British I'm sure that's what you're all doing - it's over taking tea-drinking and auto-erotic asphyxiation as the major national pastime - just think this: podiatrists have a union.
Well, not to themselves. They have to share it. With Chiropodists. It must be difficult being a podiatrist. No one knows the differences between you and the Chiropodists so you have to go halves with them in your trade union to avoid confusing anybody. And it doesn't work, because now they're trying to convince us that "There is no difference between a chiropodist and a podiatrist." Hah! is that so - then why are you letting both of them into your union, eh? It's a plot.
Probably a communist one. They are trade unionists after all. You'll be able to tell if your podiatrist is a trade unionist. As he* treats your foot he'll be wearing some sort of tweedy cap and agreeing the bill will take a series of negotiations chaired by ACAS with a lot of journalists from The Daily Scale waiting outside the surgery to see if you beat him down to less than 150 quid while he holds your bunions to ransom.
There are some people who hate feet. I wonder if it's because they look just a little bit like hands that have been forced into a pair of brogues filled with acid and tied up for a day so that they melt into the shape of a shoe's interior. This wouldn't be very nice. Which makes foot fetishists people who get off on the idea of forcing people's hands into brogues filled with acid. So much for harmless peccadilloes**. You can't trust anyone.
* it will be a man. with a moustache, a northern accent and a donkey jacket. If you're reading The Daily Scale.
** a kind of sandal, I imagine
Well, not to themselves. They have to share it. With Chiropodists. It must be difficult being a podiatrist. No one knows the differences between you and the Chiropodists so you have to go halves with them in your trade union to avoid confusing anybody. And it doesn't work, because now they're trying to convince us that "There is no difference between a chiropodist and a podiatrist." Hah! is that so - then why are you letting both of them into your union, eh? It's a plot.
Probably a communist one. They are trade unionists after all. You'll be able to tell if your podiatrist is a trade unionist. As he* treats your foot he'll be wearing some sort of tweedy cap and agreeing the bill will take a series of negotiations chaired by ACAS with a lot of journalists from The Daily Scale waiting outside the surgery to see if you beat him down to less than 150 quid while he holds your bunions to ransom.
There are some people who hate feet. I wonder if it's because they look just a little bit like hands that have been forced into a pair of brogues filled with acid and tied up for a day so that they melt into the shape of a shoe's interior. This wouldn't be very nice. Which makes foot fetishists people who get off on the idea of forcing people's hands into brogues filled with acid. So much for harmless peccadilloes**. You can't trust anyone.
* it will be a man. with a moustache, a northern accent and a donkey jacket. If you're reading The Daily Scale.
** a kind of sandal, I imagine
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