Thanks random word generator. Very helpful.
I was terrible at music at school. Those who've heard me sing may think I'm still terrible at music, but they are of course very wrong, but we'll move on.
There was something odd about school music. They introduced you to musical instruments as if they were a toy box, which was great for variety and “exposure”, but it did mean that you looked at a glockenspiel in broadly the same way you would at a plastic box with shaped holes in it for the pushing in of similar shaped objects. The idea that you could become a proficient glockenspieler or xylophonist and perform them on stage was about as likely as being on telly pushing the star shaped block into the right gap.
Triangles. It will never cease to amaze me that people are paid to play the triangle in the Royal Philharmonic Orchestra. Not because there's anything silly about it (OK, there is), but simply because it's impossible to imagine anyone being inspired to do it via school music. Thank God some schools obviously teach it better than mine did.
Mind you, I assume the triangle player has to do something else as well. Surely you can't make a living hitting a triangle of metal, no matter how tunefully and rhythmically? It's like that bloke that Prince Charles has to squeeze his toothpaste for him – I take it he does something else at one point? I know dentists say you should brush your teeth twice a day, which doubles his workload, but he must do something else - at the very least he should be laying out measured strips of dental floss.
Maybe it's more of a skill than I thought. There may be very specific techniques to toothpaste squeezing that I've never contemplated. Perhaps the BBC will introduce Strictly Squeezed Toothpaste and the whole country will be amazed that it was a lot more complicated than they ever realised, as Darren Gough and Rachael Stevens go head to head to show that they can squirt the best dollup of enamel boosting whitener onto an Oral B Anglehead. The theme music could have a triangle in it.
No comments:
Post a Comment