Emulsify

11 Feb 2010

You're kidding? My word of the day is emulsify?

Arse-dolphins.

To digress. There are few innocuous words in the language that cannot be turned into a mild epithet by adding the word “arse” in front of them. Arse-biscuits, arse-badgers, arse-noodles, arse-carpets, arse-biros etc. You get the general idea.

Similarly there are quite a few words that suddenly become oddly, though indefinably, disturbing when you prefix them with “man” (I think it comes from terms like “man fat”), but we'll gloss over them and try and get back to spreading our man-emulsion.

See?

Emulsification seems to involve binding together oil and water, something which I remember from physics is supposed to be very difficult. If this is true then emulsify is much more interesting word than I thought, since it describes a minor miracle of existence. It's just never really going to get the attention of splitting the atom or cloning, because none of those things are used to make a type of domestic paint that frequently comes in magnolia.

Unless someone knows of a nuclear weapon in “hint of forest glade”, in which case I take it all back.

But if oil and water can be bound together, perhaps there's hope for a lot of things. We could emulsify the Conservatives with some coherent policies, the England cricket team with a world class fast bowler, Michael McIntyre with some jokes and me with some sort of optimism about the future.

But possibly that is pushing it too far, and we should stick to a nice, non-drip finish.

S.