13 Feb 2010
Sometimes it's very hard to match one's mood to the random word given. Valentine's is approaching fast, and oddly I'm not really think that much about the wider world, and am being very introspective (and taking a nice long soak in self-pity). In particular I am reminding myself that I will be alone on the day purely because of my own choices and actions. This will not make me feel any better. Did I have something that I should have invested more in? Was I as profligate and prodigal as City banker? Who will bail me out of this emotional recession?
Sometimes it's very hard to match one's mood to the random word given. Valentine's is approaching fast, and oddly I'm not really think that much about the wider world, and am being very introspective (and taking a nice long soak in self-pity). In particular I am reminding myself that I will be alone on the day purely because of my own choices and actions. This will not make me feel any better. Did I have something that I should have invested more in? Was I as profligate and prodigal as City banker? Who will bail me out of this emotional recession?
Yes, we get ourselves into these things half the time. And in the end you just have to stick your hand up and say “I have fucked up on 37 different levels – it is no one's fault but mine, deal with it”. This is an unfashionable point of view.
I suppose if you're happy for any stretch of time, it is very easy to forget what it's like when you are not. A bit like those MPs who thought it would be a good use of public funds to sort out their duck houses and moats; they had no idea why anyone would object. So maybe I'll promise myself that – when, inevitably, I'm less cheesed off than I am now – that I invest and save and don't piss happiness away.
That would be a bonus.
No comments:
Post a Comment