Astral

2 Mar 2010

Facebook is throwing up a rather sad statistic at the moment. A worrying number of my friends appear to be doing nothing except checking their horoscopes. One page I visited there were 20 entries for Gemini and a wall post about baby sitters. It was one of the most depressing pages I’ve ever seen. And I’ve seen mine.

For the purposes of research I signed up to the Astrology application. I did it on my spare account (don’t ask) and there was absolutely no way I could load the application at all. It kept trying to direct me to “flirt with singles”, which – whilst a good idea in principle – I suspect would not have happened in the way that the advertising suggested. I was hoping to find out what absolute arse they were suggesting would happen to me today, but in the end the closest I got was a premonition that if I didn’t give up, my day would consist of screaming at my computer while desperately trying to stop it showing a silhouette of two singles “flirting” rather athletically on my screen as my work colleagues wandered by and thought “what’s he up to?”

So I’ve written my own.

Taurus: Beware human beings. They will cause you pain. Avoid too much self-reflection to avoid being sucked inside yourself and creating a logical paradox that leads to the end of all life in the universe. Though you probably think this would be a good thing.

Compatibility: Quorn

Mood: Fucked off

Lucky Animal: gerbils

Lucky historical architectural style: Georgian

Lucky type of salad: Baby spinach